H is for Help

H is for Help, something that I hate admitting I need. I detest asking for, or accepting help regardless of how badly I need it. I am extremely independent, and just hate admitting that there something that I cannot handle on my own. Whether it is a physical or mental task, I want to be strong enough and smart enough to do it. Thanks to my past and experiences I generally can do for myself, thankfully. I have worked in just about every occupation. If you have been reading along you already know that I spent a good chunk of my elementary school years working in the garden and greenhouse. During the same period of time my mother was huge into canning and working with the things we grew to make them last, and make the most possible use of them. So I learned the basics of homemade everything those days as well.She also worked as a crossing guard, taught Sunday School, lead the arts and crafts center of Vacation Bible School and helped to lead my girl scout troop. So I learned arts and crafts, camping, teaching and child care at the same time.

My material grandfather began a small factory when I was in third or fourth grade. Mom began working as his secretary- but still managed to do all her other stuff as well. In the summer, when I wasn't at some kind of camp, I would spend my days at the factory as well. I swept, cleaned machines, read, drew and just spent tame with my family since they made up most of the staff. In junior high and High School I actually started doing serious cleaning and some light machine work, which got heavier as I got older and able to deal with different set ups and machines. Then came retail, serving ice cream and a bevy of other side jobs. These last four and a half years since I had my first child is the first time since I started working that I have only been doing one job outside the home.

These jobs have made me strong, I can lift and heft boxes, dig up patches of dirt, whatever I need to do. I can be artsy, crafty, read and interpretive any set of instructions, talk my way out of most situations, and generally get by regardless of what life throws at me. Sometimes I suppose I resent people that ask if I need help, because I feel like they are only offering because they think I CAN'T do something, rather than just because they want to be nice. When I would actually want help it is often a situation that I am already upset about, and feel that the person I need help from should already know it and be helping be. For instance when I just need one night or morning off from Mommy duty. Or to use the spa gift cert that was given to me last Mothers Day that I still haven't been able to use... but I digress (especially since he puts the kids to bed alone three nights a week thanks to my choir and work schedule).

Oh yeah, help. I will ask for help, on occasion. However I tend to wait until there are no other options. I will sit there and fiddle with a computer program, website, electronic gadget or anything else that is troubling me until I get it to do what I need, give up, or give in and seek assistance. I am stubborn, I know it and I see it in my kids already. Now is it because of how much random stuff I've done, because my parents are just as self reliant and stubborn as I am, or is it just my personal quirk? I do not know. Can you ask for help when you need it?