Curmugeonism: A Surly Man's Guide to Midlife
SYNOPSIS:
Discovering who you are is not just for
teenagers. Midlife
men must also rediscover
the world around them while struggling with
their
own impending mortality and legacy,
especially those who change careers and
lifestyles.
Middle-aged men like me are under siege,
beset on all
sides by personal ambition,
internal expectations, familial pressure,
disillusionment, uncertainty, and legacy.
It’s a constant battle to balance
the needs of
the self and the needs of others and a struggle to
discover which
ones really take priority. Some
win this battle and some tragically lose.
Curmudgeonism is a state of mind, unwavering,
unapologetic, and uninterested in what people think.
We are the proverbial
old dog that can’t be taught new tricks because we know the
old tricks are
tried and true. We have firm beliefs that can’t be shaken. Free trade is
good. True leaders are rare. Happiness is a luxury. Golf is a waste of time and we
don’t have enough years left to be unproductive. We don’t apologize
for our views
because we’ve spent half a lifetime developing them. Theory and
idealism sounds
good in school but only until it becomes cost prohibitive and
the real world
determines ground truth. Curmudgeons are uncaring about what
people think
and have low expectations on the world because it’s done little
more than disappoint
us. We’re middle aged and tired of looking, acting, feeling the way people want
us to, so we’re breaking out and being who we
were meant to be; irascible curs
who make the world a better place through
brutal honesty. We see this as our
duty and take it seriously. Buy the ticket. Take the ride.
Excerpt:
Think you’re owed happiness?
You’re not. Happiness is a luxury, not a necessity.
Some say “if you’re not
happy doing what you’re doing then don’t do it.” Those
people are surprisingly
more comfortable with a welfare Christmas and a moped
than the average person.
It’s idealistic, but many times unrealistic and as we’ve
learned already,
idealism has a cost.
The definition of happiness is
different for everyone but one thing is for sure-it’s
fleeting. Just when you
think you’re on the verge of a touchdown, the goal line
moves. The variables
change and suddenly you’re on a quest to make it to the
next level of
happiness. Even then, you can accomplish your mission in life and
buy a nice
house, nice cars, and a baby giraffe and feel happy but then you realize
you
have to protect it. You have everything you wanted and a life that’s enviable.
That means you have to maintain it. You have to keep it going. That adds
pressure
and makes you unhappy again. It’s a vicious cycle.
The universe does not owe
anyone a single atom of happiness and there’s no law
that says you have to love
your chosen profession. As long as a job provides
income and necessities for
the family then it can suck badger milk because true
happiness for a man comes
from being a provider. It’s our responsibility to take
care of our kin and we
want to fulfill that responsibility no matter how happy or
unhappy it makes us.
Curmudgeons sacrifice the happiness of the self for the
needs of the family
because we’re not egotistical or narcissistic.
Some Deepak Chopra Zen master
schmuck will tell you that you have to be
happy in life or that you should
continually strive to find greater levels of
happiness. That works for some,
but if you’re a family man then you have
the responsibility to provide for
those you love and that's it. If you're not happy
but you’re providing a good
life then suck it up, cupcake.
My soul dies a little each day
at work, but I provide a comfortable living for
my family therefore I will be
its punching bag and shut up and take it. Some
days I hate what I’ve become but
then I step through the doors of my house
and it’s all washed away. Coming home
from a day on the job is like finishing
a hard ass gym workout. It sucked, but
in the end it’s satisfying to know my
sacrifice had a purpose and my good
health means I will live to work another
day and my family will be good to go a
little longer. Men are wired to provide,
even if it’s just for ourselves, and
when anything threatens our ability to do that
we freak out just a little bit.
On the grand scale of things
happiness is a want, not a need. We need
to provide.
We want to be happy but
if we're not happy, but we're providing then that's a form
of happiness in
itself or at the very least a form of satisfaction. I may not fit some
liberal’s view of happy but I’m content and that’s good enough for me.
Don’t
agree? Quit your crappy job just to spite me. It’s not easy is it? Show me a
job that pays as much as I'm making now that I can enjoy and then I'll listen
to your
"don't work in a job you hate" argument. Otherwise leave me
alone. I have a family
to provide for.
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Where to purchase
Curmudgeonism
Amazon - Kindle
Amazon - Paperback
B&N Nook
The Author
Kelly Crigger is an angry troll who lives under a bridge, eats goats that
wander past, and throws their bones into the canyon of despair.
