The First Man is the second book in the From Connemara With Love series by Alex Kelly. While you do not have to have read the first book to enjoy this one, I find that the complex relationships and characters read better if read in order.
Shane, Do you want to know what it means to live like me? It means being forced not to look at him, not to touch him, not to be left alone in the same room as him. Not to seek him out. Not to want him. Not to love him. Do you know how it feels to spend your entire life pretending to be someone else? Do you know what it’s like to love someone who doesn’t want to be loved? I’ll tell you how it feels. It feels as if you’re living in constant torment: you know which path you should follow, but you also know that, if you follow that path, you can never turn back. And I can’t do that to him. Every day I come back, because I know that he’s waiting for me. Every day I promise him that he will never have to live without me. Andy, Do you know what it means to live like me? It means being forced not to touch him, not to kiss him, not to be able to leave the room while he’s still in it. Not to breathe him in, not to lust after him. Not to love him. Do you know how it feels to spend your entire life pretending to be someone else? Do you know what it’s like to love the only person you’re not allowed to love? I’ll tell you how it works. You can’t seem to feel anything other than him; when you walk away, you know that you’re turning your back on the only thing that’s good in your life. Yet you still walk away. Every day I leave, knowing that he will be standing there, watching. Every day I ask him to promise me that I will never have to live without him.
The First Man is romance with main players that are very conflicted about themselves. I was glad to get to know Shane and Andy better- and to follow them towards their happy ever after. This was much more about their emotional understanding of themselves and each other than any external conflict. I will admit that there were moments that I just wanted to kick them and tell them to open their eyes and get over themselves or simply sit down and talk it all out. However, I am glad I stuck with it to the end. I am a fan of the town, and complicated families and friendships, and the community of Connemara. While I do want to know what happens next with them all, I am not sure my heart can take any more. The story is all emotional conflict, with very little external input, and while I am a huge fan of character driven stories I was occasionally looking for something a little more immediate or tangible to shake things up. Then I got it- that is for sure. While things have make progress with our first to couples, things are far from perfect and it feels like there is much more to tell about this group of characters. If you enjoyed the first read, you will want to pick this one up, and likely continue on.
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