S is for Singing- A to Z Challenge

S is for Singing, my first love. I know, I know- you all thought reading was my first. But I could sing before I could read (even if I did start reading early). I have always been involved in some sort of singing. I was in every single choir available to me as a child. Church choirs, school choirs, musical theatre, community choirs. You name it, I have tried it. I college I even managed to get myself into the choir that was primarily music majors, while learning my town choir's music via tapes the accompanist made for me, and singing in both concerts. I even tried my hand at singing in a band, albeit briefly.

Now, those that know me in real life already know this but might not have realized the irony. I am extremely shy and introverted. I do not like to stand in front of people to talk, feel awkward with new people, hate crowds, and most days would be perfectly happy with only my family, a good book, and the internet connect to real people. People staring at me tends to freak me out, and I really do not do well in tight, crowded spaces. Then the music starts and I start singing along- no matter where I am. I just got lost in the sound, and nothing else matters other than the way it makes me feel. It soothes me, energizes me, inspires me.

Now, combine my love of singing with my dislike for being watched, and think about how auditions usually go. For years I kept trying, because I felt that if I could perform in an audition the way I do when I am in the midst of a performance or by myself I would be fine. It does not happen, I still get freaked u and shaky. So, for years I had stopped doing anything that required audition. There was no point in the community choir anyway, because the director has favorites in each section who he often just hands solos to with no auditions or ones that do not really seem to have bearing on his decision. This year, I stepped up and decided to try again. The same director still has his same favorites, but they are tired and were not auditioning for a song I loved. What happened? Well, he dragged one of the favorites into the audition, even though she said she wanted someone different to do it. The final decision was a quartet- his favorite and three of us that he generally ignores. I still feel like it is a small victory. Maybe it will be enough to make future auditions easier?

Shyness and singing might not seem to go together, but many great artists in several feels label themselves as shy or introverted. There is something about losing yourself in something you love that makes the crowd, the people around you, melt away. Is there something in your life that does this for you?